Is Seeing Believing or Is Believing Seeing?

Thurs, April 14th, 2011

The question remains is seeing believing or is believing seeing because through the entire book we are only told the story by the boys across the street and not from any of the people inside the Lisbon house. So all of the sceneries that we were told, all of the things the girls did and how the parents behaved, how the girls' behaved can actually be wrong because the boys were not in the Lisbon household. Like they say "Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors." So what makes this story so believable? How can we believe the story the boys across the street have told us? It could be that what happened behind closed doors was not exactly as bad as the boys told us. Maybe behind closed doors, Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon treated their kids differently than what they were told to be by the boys. There is also a difference of knowledge and understanding that plays out. The boys understanding, knowledge and maturity for certain events might not be the same for somebody who is older, has more knowledge and is more mature. An adult may view a scene differently such as the scene when Lux begins to take boys to the roof and have sex with them. The boys viewed this scene with shock as to how she could do this without being caught and scared whereas an adult might be angry, frustrated and disgusted at how a young girl can go behind her parents' back and have sex with guys on the rooftop. So can we believe what the guys say and see it occurring or do we have to see the events actually unfolding in front of our own eyes to believe it? My answer is I would have to see it to believe it because my interpretation would be different than the boys and most importantly nobody knows what exactly happened other than the Lisbon sisters and the Lisbon parents. 

 

 The Lisbon parents.

The Lisbon sisters. 

Sad, Sad, Sad!

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

I have just finished reading the book and it was so sad and emotional. It was a cry of help from girls of were suffering emotionally from the hands of their parents. Although, I must say that this book was a fantastic book! I said this in my first blog that I often have trouble sticking to one book for a long period of time but there was something about this book that I just could not stop reading it. Maybe it was the emotional aspect of it, or the curiousty of how the other girls would kill themselves or generally how the book was wrote but one thing I have to say is this book exceeding my expectations! After a very long time I read a book that I absolutely loved and adored! One thing I would have liked was having to read the book from the girl's point of view. I wish at times the story was told by the perspetives of Lux, Cecilia, Mary, Bonnie or Therese to make the book even more emtional and in depth. Overall, a fantastic book by Jeffrey Eugenides.

A Possible Theme

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

I think I have come to find one of the themes in the book and that is parent/child relationships. The Lisbon parents are too harsh on their kids and that is affecting their relationship with their kids. I think the girls do not respect their parents too much because of how they treat them. For instance, normally parents would let their kids go out to a dance and date. However, the Lisbon parents are a unique species. Mr. Lisbon did not allow Trip to take Lux to the dance and matter of fact, never let any one of his daughters go to any dance, ever! Mr. Lisbon only allowed Trip to take Lux on certain conditions, such as: Trip must find boys for the other girls to go with and be back by a certain curfew. The most important detail was that Mr. Lisbon was going to be chaperoning that dance. So Mr. Lisbon might as well have said "Good luck having fun at that dance because my eyes will be on you at all times!" TRUST your daughters and they will trust and love you. For the dance, Mrs. Lisbon did not even dress her daughters’ great. Kevin Head, one of the guys who took one of the Lisbon girls' to the dance described their outfits as "choir robes" (pg 117). That just goes to show that Mrs. Lisbon had never let her girls' go out before, hence they did not have any fancy dresses to wear. 

There is one quote that stuck through me while I have read this book and it is Mrs. Lisbon saying, "None of my daughters lacked for any love. We had plenty of love in our home" (pg 113). I think that is something she liked to say to herself and make herself believe that she gave her daughters plenty of love and that that was not the reason they died. However, if she stepped out of her own "personal bubble" she would realize that she never gave her daughters' a true mother-daughter bonding experience. It seemed as if the dad ran the whole family. Although, nothing can be said for certain because this story is being told by outsiders (the boys across the street). What Lux, Cecilia, Bonnie. Therese and Mary needed was a mom who would give them dating advice, ask and solve their problems, make them treats in order for them to feel better but instead they were locked within the house and both parents never really opened up to their kids. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs we need security of the body, of family something that the Lisbon parents' did not provide for their kids otherwise the girls would never have killed themselves. Maslow's hierarchy also states a person needs the sense of love, of belonging and esteem. Esteem was one thing the girls lacked in terribly. They did not seem to have any self- esteem because their parents cut off their socialization with others and socialization is extremely important in the world. Both Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon are authoritarian parents. Authoritarian parents are parents who are very strict and what they say goes. Either the girls are too scared to rebel against their parents or that is just how they were brought up and told, "Never question my authority and orders." If the girls had all rebelled, it might have been difficult for Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon to handle and they would have given in to their daughters because then it would have been 5 against 2. Sometimes it takes a change in attitude to give someone a wake up call. Or like they say, if you cannot take something out with a straight finger, then make sure you crooked your finger because then it will definitely come out. It just takes a different approach to send an effective message and keep on doing it till your message is heard.   

                                                     Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 

Favorite Pictures!

Sunday, April 10th, 2011

I was just browsing through some pictures of the movie The Virgin Suicides just to see who plays the roles and how some scenes look lik etc. Then I came across two pictures that really made me smile and that I think shows the Lisbon girls emotions really well.

This picture I find can really display all of the emotions of the Lisbon girls. From the outside looking in everyone thinks of the Lisbon girls as shy, no self-confidence, low self-esteem girls but this picture shows a different side of them. This picture shows their care free side--a side which their parents probably do not see. Their smiles reflect what they want people to think about them. They just want to be normal if anyone would let them. They want to show everyone that they can be fun to hang around with but importantly that they are like any other normal teenager. They do not want to be judged by their parents' behaviours and attitudes. Their smiles show how happy they are to be with each other and outside. This picture reflects the girls true selves.

I absolutely love this picture. The background and Lux's facial expression catptivate me. Lux is in an open field and wandering about aimlessly. I love she has in her hand reminds me of the time when people go "he loves me, he loves me not." Her facial expressions reminds me of someone who is trying to get lost within themselves. Like she wants to forgot about everything that is going on in her life and just relax. The background is of a haystack field and I think the reason Lux chose to go to a field is because nothing and nobody is around you. Also, fields like this hide a person and it becomes difficult to find them. I think that is the main reason Lux Lisbon came to the field. To get some peace, and hide away from the world for a while. She certainly can't get peace at home and not even at school with her father being there. To me this is a PERFECT picture of Lux and her personality.

The New Lux

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

Have you ever heard of the saying "The only way to get over a man is to get under another?” Well this saying reminded me of Lux's new behavior during this part of the book. It all starts with the girls going to the Homecoming Dance and right away I could tell of Lux behaving differently. She seemed to have more confidence than usual. Meanwhile, her sisters seem normal at first but soon they all start opening up as well. The first sign of Lux being different was when she said "Hold on a sec, I want a cig before we go in" (Eugenides 120). It shows how bold and carefree she became when she was given freedom. Lux did not even care when the other girls warned her that their dad might find out. All she said was "I've got mints. Just tell him some kids were smoking in the bathroom" (Eugenides 120). Then when all of the girls were in the bathroom Hopie Riggs said they were being really loud and acted as if they owned the place-- certainly not the same behavior I have grown accustomed to from previous chapters. The next defining moment of the changing attitude had to do with the alcohol/kiss scene. Lux and Trip had sneaked away and Bonnie and Joe were right behind them. Then Trip took out a bottle of peach schnapps. "You have to taste it with a kiss," he said. He held the bottle to Lux's lips saying, "Don't swallow." Then they kissed each other and exchanged the alcohol and an intense make out session right in front of their friends! Now that could be something Trip does regularly and his friends have seen before but for Lux do it right in front of Bonnie says a lot about her daring and bold attitude. Then Trip handed the bottle to Joe who held it out to Bonnie's mouth. However, being a good girl Bonnie said, "I don't want any." Lux responded by saying, "Don't be a goody-goody." Those were the last words I expected to hear out of her mouth but what Bonnie did afterwards, was the last reaction I expected out of her. Bonnie also shared an intense make out session with Joe. You would think that the girls would not do anything that their parents would not approve of especially if their dad was chaperoning the dance. On the contrary, the fact that they did just proves how thirsty they were to have freedom and how much they lusted to try new things. Then Lux sleeps with Trip on the football field and she appears to be drunk at home. No surprise that both Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon were extremely furious at their daughter's outrageous behavior. Because Lux failed to make her curfew Mrs. Lisbon took a dramatic step and pulled all of the girls out of school and locked them up at home. Afterwards, Lux begins to sleep with guys regularly. Lux tells Bob McBrearley that she couldn't live without "getting it regular." Which means she could no longer go without having sex everyday. Hence why she had a pregnancy scare a little while after which turned out to be negative. 

It would be a wise guess that Lux sleeps with guys on a regular basis because she has lost her virginity to Trip and is locked inside a house so if she sleeps with boys and men on top of her roof everyday what does she have left to lose? It was revealed that Trip treated very badly after they had slept together. He became heartless. He hinted at it when he said, "This is it. We danced. We got ribbons. It only lasts for tonight" (Eugenides 178). Although, Trip is referring to the Homecoming Dance his words seem to foreshadow what is about to happen next because after he slept with Lux he just left her on the football field not even caring how she gets home. Then there was the typical reaction from Trip regarding his actions "It's weird, I mean I liked her. I really liked her. I just got sick of her right then" (Eugenides 179). Or in other words, he got what he wanted which was sex and afterwards he could care less about what happened to her. This odd behavior from Trip was confusing because when he was first introduced it seemed as if he really liked Lux and that she had changed him and had tamed the school player. Now even I am confused about Trip's honest motivations. 

Lux sleeping around with men everyday could represent her wanting to forget about how she was treated by Trip, the adrenaline rush of her knowing she is getting away with it when her parents are sound asleep, trying to forget about Cecilia's death or even trying to rebel against the family rules. 

One thing I learned from reading the second half of the book was the Lisbon girls are actually different from what they appeared to be at first or how they were presented. From the dance you could tell the girls were fun, care free and sweet but got judged because of Cecilia and their dad. Therese asks Kevin at the dance that ''Do we seem as crazy as everyone thinks?" 

''Who thinks that?” he replied.  

''Cecilia was weird, but we're not.'' And then: ‘‘we just want to live. If anyone will let us" (Eugenides 128). The girls are different then what they are perceived to be and they just want a chance to prove that. They are tired of being judged and they want to let everyone know that they normal just like everyone other girl but they get judged because of their crazy parents and Cecilia's choice to die. 

The only question I have regarding this second half is if Mrs. Lisbon has locked the girls at home where is Luz finding all of these boys and men to have sex with on the roof?

Should Mr.Lisbon Feel Guilty?

Wed, March 23rd, 2011

I was asked a question regarding my second last blog on the guilt of a father. I was asked whether I think Mr. Lisbon should feel guilty? What effect does guilt have on someone? After thinking for some days I finally have the answer to the question. 

I do indeed think that Mr. Lisbon should feel guilty regarding Cecilia's death. The atmosphere in the Lisbon house was not a good one and I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon will like to say otherwise. The parents come off as controlling and religious. They do not give their girls freedom and by not giving them freedom it results in the girls’ lack of self-confidence and the girls are not very interactive outside of the household. If you think about it why does someone commit suicide? Usually it is because of love or a current problem in their life. In this case I bet Cecilia was fed up with her life and how everything was. She probably did not like the way she was cramped inside the house. Even the party that her parents allowed the girls’ to throw after Cecilia was realeased from the hospital consisted of them being there. Those girls were old enough to have a chaperone free party. However, because the parents are so strict, over protective and do not trust their daughters enough they were at the party. Any teenager today would find it awkward if they were to have a party with their parents in the home. Maybe the girls also felt they could not talk about anything with their parents. For instance when Lux wanted to go out with a boy named Trip she did not have enough courage to go and tell her parents about him and talk to them about him freely. Trip had to come over and ask about the date and even then the closest thing he got to a date was sitting beside Lux in the living room couch and a quick sneaky make out session in his car. Kids do not go away from their parents but rather parents push their kids away. Did Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon ever think that all their daughters wanted was more comfort from them, more independence or if they could be those type of parents where their daughters could come and talk to them about their problems; then the daughters would never have wanted to take their own lives. Teen years are supposed to be handled with care because if they are not then families’ lives can take drastic turns.

Guilt can have some serious effects on people. Guilt can result in despising yourself thinking that it was your own fault the other person committed the act, severe depression or can even result in another person committing suicide. In this case, Mr. Lisbon is visioning Cecilia's spirit everywhere. That only tends to happen if the person knows they’re guilty. Guilt can leave someone with livelong damage and can eventually drive a person insane. Guilt can also make you despise yourself in such a way that it becomes painful to even see your own reflection in the mirror.                                      

Puzzled!

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

There is one thing that has been irritating me since the beginning of the book. When I was first looking at the summary of this book it became obvious that this book concentrates more on Cecilia Lisbon's suicide more than the other girls. I am a little bit into the second part of my book so around more than 100 pages in and although at times the author makes references to the other girls suicide, there is no detail regarding their deaths. I do not know if that is the way the author wants to write the novel to keep me guessing or intrigued by the other girls death's or if there is no meaning at all to the girls deaths.

I am getting quite frustrated that the author always has to include the other sister's deaths so randomly. The author will be talking about Cecilia and then randomly starts talking about the sisters. Why? Why do the sister's death have to be meshed in together when it does not fit?

I wish the story focused on all of the sister's deaths. I wish first it talked about the first sister committing suicide, then the next and so forth and then in the end draw a common line between all of them. Maybe I spoke too soon and there is a real reason behind why the author is doing all of these things that are irritating me. I just wish I find the answer to all of my questions soon enough.