Should Mr.Lisbon Feel Guilty?

Wed, March 23rd, 2011

I was asked a question regarding my second last blog on the guilt of a father. I was asked whether I think Mr. Lisbon should feel guilty? What effect does guilt have on someone? After thinking for some days I finally have the answer to the question. 

I do indeed think that Mr. Lisbon should feel guilty regarding Cecilia's death. The atmosphere in the Lisbon house was not a good one and I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon will like to say otherwise. The parents come off as controlling and religious. They do not give their girls freedom and by not giving them freedom it results in the girls’ lack of self-confidence and the girls are not very interactive outside of the household. If you think about it why does someone commit suicide? Usually it is because of love or a current problem in their life. In this case I bet Cecilia was fed up with her life and how everything was. She probably did not like the way she was cramped inside the house. Even the party that her parents allowed the girls’ to throw after Cecilia was realeased from the hospital consisted of them being there. Those girls were old enough to have a chaperone free party. However, because the parents are so strict, over protective and do not trust their daughters enough they were at the party. Any teenager today would find it awkward if they were to have a party with their parents in the home. Maybe the girls also felt they could not talk about anything with their parents. For instance when Lux wanted to go out with a boy named Trip she did not have enough courage to go and tell her parents about him and talk to them about him freely. Trip had to come over and ask about the date and even then the closest thing he got to a date was sitting beside Lux in the living room couch and a quick sneaky make out session in his car. Kids do not go away from their parents but rather parents push their kids away. Did Mr. and Mrs. Lisbon ever think that all their daughters wanted was more comfort from them, more independence or if they could be those type of parents where their daughters could come and talk to them about their problems; then the daughters would never have wanted to take their own lives. Teen years are supposed to be handled with care because if they are not then families’ lives can take drastic turns.

Guilt can have some serious effects on people. Guilt can result in despising yourself thinking that it was your own fault the other person committed the act, severe depression or can even result in another person committing suicide. In this case, Mr. Lisbon is visioning Cecilia's spirit everywhere. That only tends to happen if the person knows they’re guilty. Guilt can leave someone with livelong damage and can eventually drive a person insane. Guilt can also make you despise yourself in such a way that it becomes painful to even see your own reflection in the mirror.                                      

Puzzled!

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

There is one thing that has been irritating me since the beginning of the book. When I was first looking at the summary of this book it became obvious that this book concentrates more on Cecilia Lisbon's suicide more than the other girls. I am a little bit into the second part of my book so around more than 100 pages in and although at times the author makes references to the other girls suicide, there is no detail regarding their deaths. I do not know if that is the way the author wants to write the novel to keep me guessing or intrigued by the other girls death's or if there is no meaning at all to the girls deaths.

I am getting quite frustrated that the author always has to include the other sister's deaths so randomly. The author will be talking about Cecilia and then randomly starts talking about the sisters. Why? Why do the sister's death have to be meshed in together when it does not fit?

I wish the story focused on all of the sister's deaths. I wish first it talked about the first sister committing suicide, then the next and so forth and then in the end draw a common line between all of them. Maybe I spoke too soon and there is a real reason behind why the author is doing all of these things that are irritating me. I just wish I find the answer to all of my questions soon enough. 

The Guilt Of A Father

Thursday, March 8th, 2011
Unknown Words: idiosyncratic= a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or something that is peculiar to an individual.

The more and more I am reading this book the more obvious Mr. Lisbon's guilt is becoming. In the beginning of the book, when Cecilia slit her wrists and was being taken to the hospital, Mr. Lisbon seemed rather calm and collected. Not a single parent would be calm and collected if their child just slit their wrists and was being taken to the hospital. Instead of being frantic about the fact that his daughter is injured and bleeding furiously, Mr. Lisbon was driving the speed limit behind the ambulance. Now he seems guilty. I am starting to believe Mr. Lisbon had a big part in Cecilia's suicide. 

At one point in the boom (pg 57) Mr. Lisbon finds a boy retainer from the party the day before and instead of cleaning it or saving it until the boy comes to get it, he flushes it in the toilet. Except the retainer is not going anywhere. "Mr. Lisbon waited for the tank to refill and flushed again, but the same thing happened. The replica of the boy's mouth clung to the white slope." To me this particular scene seemed as if when Mr. Lisbon was flushing away the retainer what he was actually trying to do was flush away his guilt. His guilt could have been; being too strict on Cecilia, he did not show his affectionate side towards her, he did not care or that he could not save her. When we flush we are getting rid of something and that was exactly what Mr. Lisbon was doing he was getting rid of this "guilt" but it was simply not leaving. Then Mr. Lisbon says, " I thought I saw somebody, but when I looked, there was nothing there. So Mr. Lisbon saw a ghost only appear if something is unfinished or to haunt. Since Mr. Lisbon is guilty about Cecilia, he keeps thinking "something" is there. If Mr. Lisbon were not guilty then these feelings, emotions would not come up. I have a huge feeling that soon enough a big secret is going to come out regarding the actual relationship between the parents and the kids.                                     

"Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death." -Coco Chanel 


I thought this quote went well with my blog topic because Coco Chanel is saying that whenever death occurs, guilt follows. Someone is either to blame and someone takes the blame. In this case Ms. Lisbon is starting to have guilty feelings regarding his daughter's death. Guilt is never easy to deal with. When a death occurs, guilt is the hardest ordeal to overcome and can completely change a person and even make them insane. Hopefully I will soon figure out what exactly Mr. Lisbon is feeling regarding Cecilia's death. 

Oh The Parents!

The more and more I am reading this book the more I am learning about the relationship between the parents and their daughters and the how the community thinks about a particular situation. I have realized that Mrs. Lisbon really does not like to talk about Cecilia's cutting incident. Quite honestly, no parent would like to talk about that but when asked they usually come out with the truth. Mrs. Lisbon however is not talking about and instead avoids it. In the hospital a rather intresting scene unfolded. Mr. lisbon saw a picture and when he turned it over it said,
"The Virgin Mary has been appearing in our city, bringing her message of peace to a crumbling world. As in Lourdes and Fatima, Our Lady has granted her presence to people just like you. For information call 555-MARY." (pg 12)
Upon reading this Mr. Lisbon was enraged and said "We bptized her, we confirmed her, and now she believes this crap."
This shows that the Lisbon parents know that they made mistakes but can often times be extremely stubborn. Even after bringing Cecilia home the Lisbon shut themselves inside their house.

There is one character I have come across that I have grown fond of. Paul Baldino reminds me of the boys I went to school with in the sixth grade who thought they knew everything about girls just because they read one COSMO magazine. Just the way Paul sees a tampon and suddenly thinks he's better than the other guys just because he has seen one and the others have not. Although, Paul can be annoying he is funny to me because he brings back memories and his dialogues like "I saw  the movie, I know what it's about. Listen to this. When girls get to be about twelve or so"-- he leaned toward us-- "their tits bleed". That dialogue made me laugh because a) I was not expecting that AT ALL and b) it's funny to hear that from a young boy who wants to impress his friends by knowing things they don't about girls and keep his bad boy image.

Just A Thought...

I have only read about 15 pages of the book and I realized something. The first bit when the paramedics come in to the Lisbon house they know exactly where the knife drawer was, and the gas oven (pg 1). Why is that? Well my hunch is that the girls have either tried to commit suicide before; the parents always do something to the kids because otherwise how can the paramedics precisely know where everything is? The paramedics go to many homes but they do not know too much detail. The fact that the paramedics only know where the knife drawer and the gas oven is means whenever the paramedics get called it somehow gets connected to knives and gas. 

It also appears that the father and mother are way to strict. The mother always checks if the daughters are wearing anything "too revealing" or even if they are wearing makeup before they are going to school.  Meanwhile when Cecila was being rushed to the hospital the dad did not sit in the ambulance and then he took his sweet time driving behind the ambulance. I can positively say that if it was I in that ambulance and my dad was driving, he would not care about the speed limits. Mr. Lisbon seemed calm, relaxed during the situation. That goes to show that the parents do not care too much about the kids. The love just is not there.